change: how i plan to actually keep my 2014 resolutions..

New Year, New you?

 It’s that time of year again. You know-where you take stock of your last 364 days, lament over mishaps and have 30 second dance parties for your victories.

Yes it’s New Years Resolution time. Even that sounds trite doesn’t it? Because it’s been said so many times so many different so many different time zones.  As I pondered what I wanted to say about 2014, something kept repeating in my head- A MEME that circulated Tumblr, Instagram and Facebook- “Beyonce has the same 24 hours as you…” I know right!  I am not a Beyonce stan (nor hater), but as a new mom, I’m curious as to how she will explain the “Beyonce” album to Blue when she’s older? Ok…that’s a blog for another time.

 What is your desire for not just the New Year, but the rest of your life? Many of us use 0101 as a clean slate to erase the past and start anew. Some resolutions last a day, some a week and others make it to 12/31 (that’s a #win).  Recently, my view of success and what goals are really important have shifted (sauntering on a beach in the Caribbean wearing a gorgeous one piece that I paid way too much to even consider getting wet and a new outrageous hair color would have been a worthy bucket list goal).  See, my successes and failures matter now because I have the proverbial score card- her name is Quinn Peregrine. Children are paradigm shifters (it’s not all poopy diapers and clothes covered in spit-up). Quinn makes me want to be accountable. Outside of internal change, she has also made me want to be healthier (I don’t want to be the mom who can’t do any vigorous activities because I’m still holding pregnancy pounds when she is in 6th grade).  I write this blog as I lay in bed today trying to figure out how to be a working mom, finish my degree (which didn’t mean a whole lot to me until I became a mom) while being in supreme health?!? I think “how I can I ask my baby girl to attain high marks, respect her body and do what’s best for her if I don’t lead the charge?” Parent or not, everyone has a scorecard-your happiness and being your best is probably at the top of the list.

So, as we go into 2014, I guess we do what we did in 2013- ask ourselves “Am I happy?” If you are slow to answer or said NO with a vengeance- think about how can you change that? Are the changes realistic? Will they REALLY make you happier? What’s holding you back? Is it you? Is it your job? Is it the people you call your ” friends?”  Honey, I know..blogs in bed become a little scattered, but I think you get my drift. Plus, If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?? I’m being honest with myself and I know at 36, I have to take baby steps.
I am a reformed resolutioner..
For the last 7 years, I have forged into the new year with a long list of desires. They are often unrealistic because I am not a self starter. So this year, I’m looking at things a bit differently (I’m just “being honest” in my Future voice).  I want to stop swearing and eating processed foods, so I’m going focused on no “shits + marshmallow fluff” one week at a time. Going in guns blazing is (imho) part of the disillusionment of resolutions. We bite off more than we can chew. Don’t get me wrong, It’s ok to have lofty dreams and goals, but be honest with yourself about how you will achieve and execute.  You didn’t smoke a pack of cigarettes or cloves on your first try. You worked up to it and you must decrease accordingly.  You built up a resistance, become comfortable, created a habit and you won’t “break” it in 2 weeks. So start step at a time.
Take the stairs to the 2nd or 3rd floor.
Park farther away in the grocer’s lot.
Charge yourself for swearing and take the money and store it in a 401k for the future.
Talk to yourself when you are about to act/do something you want to change. Remind yourself why. Envision how the change will make a positive impact on your life. Use positive reinforcements.
If you fall off for a day or two don’t give up on the year. Try try again. Your human. Don’t walk into the gym during prime workout time and get discouraged that you’re a size 14 and the person on the next treadmill is a size 6. They don’t know your story and you don’t know theirs. The only opinion that should matter when it comes to your resolutions is the person staring back in the mirror. This is as much for me as it is for you.
FYI..I’m a size 16! I gained weight post baby..Can you believe it (I can’t)?! Lawdy.. When I realized I had to go back to work, I began eating. There it is. It didn’t hit home until I saw a photo of me post baby that I realized I was actually smaller when I was preggers (wth?).  Sorry. I digress…
new year-1image courtesy of post secret
That’s my struggle pre-2014, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s about self control. It’s about discipline. Something that apparently Beyonce has and I need to work on (yes..back to Bey). LOL So my new years resolution is not to be like Beyonce but to be like me—only a better more disciplined me. With new inspiration (Quinn), renewed focus, small steps and a dose of honesty, I’m feeling bullish about 0101.  My desires for 2014 may not “ fall” perfectly into place, but maybe, just maybe i will be able to put my puzzle (and juicy booty in nice jeans) together a little easier. Yes. I can do this. You can do this..
Love + Light,
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