“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” ―Voltaire
We all want the approval of others and will do whatever it takes to get that approval. We put a high value on what others think of us but have you ever thought of how you perceive yourself?
Have you ever stop and ask yourself those simple questions that could change your life and the person you are forever?
Sometimes it’s not the answers we get when we ask the questions that truly matters, sometimes the right questions are the answers we need.
Asking yourself the right questions is what will help you to make the right decisions for your life. It is never too late to start but the earlier you can get to the point where you start asking yourself those very pertinent question is the day your life will change for the better.
I lived my life being afraid to ask myself any questions because I was afraid those questions would require me to be real. It would require me to be honest and deep down I know I haven’t been honest with myself.
I didn’t have a great start in life and, therefore, the questions that would require me to know who I was, why I was here, and if I belonged never crossed my mind. I kept them at bay every time they would spring up in my head.
People would ask me what I wanted to be, and I blurred out what I thought they wanted to hear because I wanted to please them. I wanted them to move quickly from asking me any questions because most questions relating to me were uneasy for me. Questions made me uncomfortable.
Whenever I was alone with my thoughts, I found things to do that wouldn’t give me time to focus on any thoughts relating to me and my life. I never allowed myself to ask of me anything because deep down I never felt like I was anything or worth anything.
I went to school, college, graduate school did exceptionally well but at the end of it all it was just for face value. I never saw myself and worse I never felt anything towards me. Did I love myself? I have no idea because I never ask myself if I did nor did it matter.
It wasn’t until I decided to be real with myself that I was able to understand truly the pain asking myself questions would bring. Who was I? What I wanted out of life? Where did I fit in? Do you love yourself? Those were some of the questions I had to ask myself and they were most difficult. I haven’t gotten beyond asking the questions, but I am working on it.
The very difficult questions are the ones that will help to build your character. They will help you to find yourself and what your purpose in life is. Those are the questions that will cause you to go left instead of right, not through guessing but with conviction.
Asking yourself the right questions will not only help you to choose the right path for your life but it will also save you lots of heartache and disappointments down the road.
Start asking yourself the questions that truly matter and below are a few. 🙂
1: Have I been nice to me today?
This might seem like a very simple question but if you think about it, you will understand how serious this is. Have you taken the time today to be kind to you? How many times today have you cursed at yourself for messing up? How many times did you say mean things to yourself?
You have to remember the way you treat yourself is the exact way others treat you. You must love yourself. No one can love you enough to make up for you not loving yourself. Stop criticizing yourself for the simplest things. Do not focus on all that you aren’t but instead start giving yourself credit for who you are and will become.
Listen to the conversations you have with yourself in your mind. Would you allow anyone to speak to you that way? If the answer is no, then stop doing to yourself. Seldom if ever would you allow anyone to abuse verbally and get away with it yet you do it to yourself daily and think that it is fine.
The abuses you accept from people in your relationships are exactly the abuse you heap on yourself. If you constantly call yourself a failure then you shouldn’t be surprised when you fail because that is how you see yourself. A failure.
Quit that negative self-talk today. Start speaking kindness and love into your soul. You deserve it. Start empowering yourself with words of encouragement. Refuse to reinforce the negative things you have heard. When you are alone with yourself be careful how you speak because you think no one is hearing but remember you hear yourself speak.
The relationship you have with yourself will be the most important relationship you will ever have.
2: What am I going to do today?
This might seem easy to answer but what if I told you that you should imagine that this was the last day of your life. Would you then want to do the things you were about to do today? If you answer no to this questions, then you need to make changes to your life. Try to live each day as if it were your last. Unfortunately, one day it will be your last. Do not be afraid to take the actions you know will lead you to the life you want to live. You might not be able to do so fully but put the steps in place to do so. Be bold and courageous. You must make the efforts needed to do what is best for you.
Find out what you enjoy and go after it. Find your passion and embrace it fully. Do not allow others to distract or discourage you from going after your dream. Create the life you want for yourself.
3: What am I going to let go of today?
Too many times we hold on to things, people and relationships far too long when we should have let go. Decide today what it is in your life that you will let go of. You are older and wiser, and some of the things that you once held on to you’ve outgrown. They are no longer an important part of your life. Things no longer fit into your lifestyle. The people you know are no longer the ones you want to be with. You are moving in a different direction, and these things need to go.
Moving on doesn’t mean you are going to forget what you have learned from those experiences but you take those experiences with you and you move on to creating new ones? We’ve all gone through difficult times in our lives that have changed us forever. You must remember everything around you is impermanent – your body, possession, relationships and so forth. You do not have total control over everything that happens to you, but you do have control over how you allow it to affect you. Take the positive things and build yourself up. The unfortunate things put them to rest and do not allow them to devour you. When one door closes, another one opens. Do not spend your life with regrets. Put the past behind you and with open arms welcome the present.
Turning your life around only require you making the decision to do so. Once you’ve made up your mind to change you only, need the courage and determination to make it all the way. Whatever you want you can get it as long as you are prepared to work for it. There will be setbacks but those as only for your great comeback. Go out today and make the change you’ve always wanted for your life.
Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on, and that boldly wearing your scars can help others triumph over their own challenges. An accountant by profession with a passion for writing and blogging, Rose can help you to get back the fire that once burned within you, starting with her eBook “34 Ways to Build Your Confidence Today.” at her website http://positiveattitudesforlife.com