Around two thirds of us will eventually get married, 42 per cent of those marriages are going to break down. That leaves less than a third of us in happy marriages ’til death do us part’.
It seems a lot of people who get married go in with a preconcieved idea, and when the reality doesn’t match up, relationships can break down.
Hundreds of people have shared the most disturbing truths that they’ve learned about marriage the hard way on social answers site Quora.
As one user said: “Most disturbing is how the actual thing is so vastly different than anything it’s purported to be”.
Most people go in to marriage not knowing what to expect, but these people are here to shed some light on what it’s really to be married in the long run.
Marriage doesn’t guarantee unconditional love
“I don’t feel love for my husband 24 hours a day… There are times when we cannot access our love. Sometimes, it’s marriage – not love – that keeps us married.”
Marriage won’t solve all your problems
“Couples many times enter into marriage thinking that the other person will fix all of their problems, make them happy, support them fully, enjoy all of their activities, and provide unconditional love. This is a fallacy, and if you enter into marriage believing this, you are doomed.”
There is no ‘normal’ marriage
“With a few exceptions, there is no standard of what is good, normal, acceptable, and what is not. No one can tell you what to do with it, about it; it is entirely your responsibility to manage your marriage. There is no right answer so don’t seek one.”
A successful marriage often requires more than two people
“Be it a bit of healthy jealousy or that special support by friends and family in the low times of a relationship, there is always someone else’s direct or indirect intervention in making a marriage successful.”
Compromise is a fundamental part
“Marriage is a never ending series of compromises until it doesn’t matter anymore. You learn what is important, when to fight your battles, when to be quiet. And as you move forward you realize that there were two of you that became one. You don’t lose your individuality, but you are two parts of something. Hopefully something that lasts forever. Compromises are key when needed.”